Posted by: Angie | December 1, 2008

The Love and Hate of the Holidays!

The Love

I love seeing my family.  I love talking about our children and what we have been up to for the past year.  I love watching all the kids play together as if they have always played together.   I love all the food that seems to never end.  I enjoy the decorations.  I enjoy watching my daughter open gifts and taking it all in. 


The Hate

I hate the feelings of being the only parent without a spouse.  I come from a middle-eastern background.  You are supposed to fall in love with one person and marry that person, and then have children.  I have a few cousins that had children out of wedlock, but they stayed together.  Not me.  I always feel ashamed to be in the room with them when they are two parents taking care of their children.  I usually find myself with my daughter hiding upstairs for a little bit; away from all happy families.  I know that someday soon my daughter will ask me the dreaded question of why isn’t my daddy here.  I hope I have the strength to explain things to her without busting into tears.


I am the only single parent from both sides of my family.  I am the only single parent amongst family friends.  I hate hearing from them that they don’t know how I do things on my own.  I hate hearing that they feel sorry for me.  I WANT TO SCREAM AT THEM “DON’T REMIND ME THAT I’M ALONE!”  But I always smile and say that I’m used to it; it’s just the way it is; or anything else that just ends the conversation quickly so I can leave the area and gather my composure. 

How do you handle those feelings?


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