Posted by: Angie | February 7, 2009

How can parents just switch btwn wanting and not wanting to be parents?

Little A’s dad called today.  We haven’t heard from him in a week.  He wants to pick her up from daycare Friday and bring her home on Sunday.  He has never wanted to do this.  He goes weeks without seeing or talking to her.  Then out of the blue he’s around for a few weeks.  Then he’s gone  again.

I know he’s only around again because I’ve made some comments on my facebook page about how he has been behaving.  His niece is one of my “friends” there.  So I think she’s spoken to him about being a poor parent.  Her kid’s dad does the same things to her.  The thing is talking to him only makes him a part of her life for a few weeks so they will  leave him alone.  To make them happy.  To make them believe that he is a good father.  I know this because that’s how he behaved when we were together.  You shouldn’t have to lecture someone on how to treat their loved ones.

How can he do this?  Sadly, our arrangements with the state allow him to take her over the weekends, but I don’t want to let him take her.  He doesn’t deserve to be a part of her life.  She is too smart, too pretty, and too sweet to have anything to do with him. 

I need some advice.  How do you handle the other parent taking your child?



  1. You get used to it. You may not always like it. You may not agree with what he does or how he parents. But continue to encourage a relationship with dad – even if he doesn’t always put in the expected effort. I always look at it this way. They deserve to know both parents and spend time with them. I will never give him my opinion of dad and I will allow him to form his own opinions of dad. Its difficult but any effort from dad is better than none. Good luck – it gets easier over time 🙂

  2. Update: I knew that Little A’s dad didn’t come up with this on his own so I asked the question on my Facebook. His niece, who also is a single mom, talked to him. She claims it was his idea, and she supported him. She probably mentioned it to him and he said I’ve thought about it. So she told him to do it.

    Otherwise, he wouldn’t do it. We’ll see how long it lasts. Probably 6 to 8 weeks at the most.

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